I Can't Believe I Did It. I Can't Believe I Did It.

I keep telling myself that. I can't believe I did it. For 13 months it has been weighing on my heart. Hurting.

Going back to work. January is coming way too fast. Which means going back to teach kindergarten. Which means I won't see Audrey for at least 8 hours of the day. 8 hours of playing baby. 8 hours of running errands to the grocery store together. 8 hours of watching her giggle with excitement when we go and see the barn animals at my dad's house. 8 hours of waiting for her to wake from her nap so I can snuggle and steal kisses from her. 8 hours of sharing lunch together. 8 hours of block building. 8 hours of long walks.

Too much happens in 8 hours.

Too much I don't want to miss.

So I did it. With my husband 110% on board. I have officially resigned today. I am not going back in January and I can't believe it. I told my principal today. She was 110% supportive too. Praise God. I will miss my amazing school. The amazing faculty. My amazing kindergarten team.

But. But there is too much to miss in 8 hours from my sweet little girl.

And if I don't have to, I am not going to miss it. Any of it. And by don't have to, I mean, living by faith, spending less, and living more simply.

And it feels good.

This is for me. It what makes sense for me. For others it may not make sense. That's the beauty of being a mom. You (along with your family) get to make your own decisions. I respect working moms, stay-at-home-moms, work-from-home-moms, ALL moms. Because let's face it- no matter what we do as moms, it's a tough job, but completely worth it in the end.
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I can't believe I did it.

Schoooool Time.

Where have I been? Not twittering. Not blogging. But very, very busy. Besides all the house stuff [which we had another showing yesterday and will have one on Saturday], I have been getting back into the groove of the teacher world.

Did you even know I was a teacher? I don't mention it much, because right now, I focus on being a mom. That is my job. BUT, I am scheduled to go back to work in January. Which I am not complaining about, because I have been on maternity leave since last October. It has been such a beautiful blessing.

These past two days I have been at a teacher conference all day. That means being away from Audrey for over 8 hours. Longest. ever. for. me. It was tough. Again, can't complain, the hubster brought her to me on my lunch break so I could see her and nurse. It was the sweetest thing ever to see her chubby little thighs trying to move as fast as she could to see me with the biggest grin on her face. It made my heart go boom boom. The hubster watched her for part of the time and my sister-in-law watched her for the other part. And she was a rock star. And I was all worried about her not doing well with me being gone. Like in the nursery, ahem. But she did just fine.

Anyway, I also had Parent Night tonight. I met the parents to my 24 kindergarteners. Um, yeah, 24 five and six year olds. I am not going to think about that too hard or I might go crazy.

Give Me Peace.

I haven't really felt like blogging. Sorry. I have to make a big decision soon (really, really soon, like any day now) about going back to work to teach. It has been the only thing on my mind right now. And I just can't decide what to do. I want God to choose for me, but I think He is whispering it to me and I can't hear right now-too much noise and distractions around me. I keep going back and forth on the decision. Ugh. I just want peace in my heart about this.

Isn't it funny how for some, decisions like this seem so easy to make? I mean, for some moms going back to work is what is suppose to happen. For others, staying home is the only option. But for me and my circumstances, I am just all mixed up. And I am tired of hearing all about the economy, economy, economy. All this talk is making feel guilty about me giving up a great job when so many people are looking for one. I know, completely silly of me.

Seriously, how I can I leave a girl as sweet as this one?

[Audrey loves our cat, Iree!]