a few {very honest} thoughts.

I told myself I would be in bed by 9pm tonight because I'm that tired. Except we didn't get the kids to bed till 9, so it wasn't going to happen for me.

Last night I cleaned my home (well, parts of it) after the kiddos went to bed. When I wiped the mirrors, dusted the dresser (who am I kidding, I didn't dust), put away the clothes, scrubbed the old blue toothpaste off of the kids' sink, an overwhelming sense of gratitude set in. And the Holy Spirit filled me with thankfulness for all of our blessings. But last night, as I was almost done cleaning this thought hit me and tried to crumble me up and rip away at my gratitude---Naomi's 3 month post-surgery scan is August 26, I must get my house in tip-top order and get all my projects done by then because what if we have to stay in the hospital for a long time. What if...her cancer comes back. Am I ready for it? [I'm confident in God's plan and what He has already done with Naomi and our family. I fully believe that Naomi's cancer won't return.]

Fear not. For I am with you. [I repeated this to myself over and over.]

Do my kids know that I am broken and need Jesus? Do others? I don't want to wear a mask. I just want to be me. And have Jesus' love radiate through me.

We have lived in our home for just over a year now, I love it so much, but I'm overwhelmed by the size. I want to use it for His glory. How can I do that? Am I doing that? Maybe we should just sell everything. It times to simplify more. I'm tired of stuff.

Adoption.

Thankful that I am God's adopted child. Thankful for his loving discipline. Thankful that He knows the big picture.

Did I remind myself that today was a gift? Did I let go of the things don't really matter? Did I choose joy?

where i've been {lately}.

Warning: this post is filled with randomness. It's time for me to release all the stuff cluttering my brain. We are only a week into August and all of this has happened already...

Let's start with a picture, shall we?

We hit up the fair last week. I remember when we first took only Audrey and here we are bringing three kiddos now. Oh, and that picture of those two holding hands? For the most part, they really are that sweet with each other. I'm so happy they have each other. 

Besides the fair, life has been, well, just crazy-great-oh-my-gosh-busy. We hosted a housewarming party last weekend. Every single time we drive into our neighborhood I seriously breathe a sigh of relief. I'm so thankful we are here. 

I've started seriously working out again and eating better. I'm ready to make a commitment to it. I want to be healthy for me and my family. What I do, sets the example for my kids, I want them to know we should take care of the body God gave us. This boot camp (which I scored through a Groupon!) is awesome. Totally intense and awesome. It's only a five week course, but I'm learning so many great exercises I can implement at home (and I already have!). 

August has also brought more working hours for me. Previously, I worked at my church (as the Director of Elementary Programs) about 10 or so hours a week, well that just doubled. I'm so excited about it. I'm thankful that I can work mostly from home and be apart of such an awesome body of believers. I get to use my degree too! Now it's just finding the balance. For the first time ever as parents, we had to hire a babysitter to come to our house a couple times of week so I can get fixed hours in. So far, it seems to be going well. 

This month Audrey is beginning a real dance class. I say real, because she took a class before, but it was with friends at a friend's home. Which was a great introduction for her, but now she is so so excited to be in a class for dance and gymnastics. We went to an orientation class this past Monday and she just smiled and listened so well the entire time. Preschool begins for her too! She will be going two mornings a week (while I'm at work). Girlfriend is growing up. 

We got a kitty last week. And let me tell you, it is the sweetest thing ever how Audrey just adores it. And this kitty, which Audrey named Millie, is such a good sport. She even tolerates getting doll clothes put on her and getting pushed around in a stroller. I'm not even kidding. However, she isn't fond of Naomi trying to pick her up by the tail. Ahem. 

We transitioned Naomi to a toddler bed. She has been doing really well, especially considering the girls share a room. I think there has been one night I had to remind them to stay in their beds. They like to talk to each other before bed too, which is so funny because it usually ends with Audrey whispering but in a loud whisper "go to bed, Nae Nae! Shhh!" Audrey our rule-follower, Naomi our mischief. 

I think that catches me up for August. Let's end with a picture too, shall we? 

I love that I was able to wear Naomi (21months) and Lincoln (3 months) at the fair.

P.S. New header coming soon!