sugarplum fairies. {right now}

Brother is napping, I'm making broccoli and cheddar soup, and this is my view…

the sweetest sugarplum fairies (as they call themselves) that I ever did see. ..

And for a moment, all is well in the world. 

{Pssssss. That outfit Audrey has on was mine when I was a little girl.}

saying yes.

[Pouring out my heart, typing and letting it go.]

This morning I had the opportunity to share God's Story in our lives, how He carried and is carrying us through this journey with childhood cancer. I'm so thankful that God opens up these doors to share, because as much as I love sharing to encourage others of God's faithfulness, I am just as in need of the sweet reminder of God's sovereignty in my life. I want to say yes to Him. In everything I do.

In everything I do. 

I'm tired of mediocre. I'm tired of separating Him into a box.

He has no boundaries. It's not just a Sunday morning thing. Or a checklist.

And frankly, I'm tired of striving for comfort and safe.

I say these things not because I want some radical change in my life, but if that is what He wants. Then I want it too.

I feel this stirring in my heart, in my little family's lives. So I ask God to help my unbelief and use me for His glory.

If God can bring me a joy and peace in my scariest of times, what can He do if I give Him my everyday?

I am human and seek desires of my own heart every day and my mind is filled with thoughts of selfishness and bitterness and greed and as if I desire more than I have. But. But there is grace, and I welcome grace into my heart to cover my hearts selfish desires. After all, God gives grace freely. And I'm thankful for that.

So, I say yes. Yes to my great God that goes before me, and does immeasurably things.

The girls were leaving church one morning and said "this is how we praise Jesus, we lift our hands and dance!" Gosh, I have so much to learn from my children. And the picture of Lincoln, well, I just can't handle his cuteness in a tie. 

favorite moments.

I've of been feeling sluggish the last few days. But there have been a few moments that just make my whole heart smile and keeps me going. It's like my gas gauge almost gets to empty and bam, I'm filled again with an abundance of cuteness. I decided I needed to write these cherished moments down so I don't forget them.

Yesterday Naomi wasn't feeling well. Audrey took it upon herself to make her a picture, get her a bowl in case she needed to get sick, ask her if she wanted a blanket, and put her hair up out of her face so it wouldn't get yucky if she did get sick. She also offered to watch Dora, since it is one of Naomi's favorite. Audrey is such a little mama, I love the way she cares for her siblings.

I asked Naomi what movie she wanted to watch--Brave or Sound of Music? She chose Sound of Music, I was definitely happy about that choice! I'd say her top favorite movie is Annie though.

I took a shower with Lincoln and he was so so snuggly, he even fell asleep on me in the shower. I'm pretty sure he was thinking "Ma, this is like where I was a year ago- in your belly, take me back, take me back!" Ha!

Here's a favorite moment from a few weeks ago:

While I was making dinner one evening the girls were outside, spending forever just sitting in this area moving nature pieces around and chatting. I was watching from the window so I came outside to check it out. They were making a whole world--their imagination never ceases to amaze me. 

I don't ever want to take for granted this blessed role God gave me--to be each of my children's mama. It can be so tough and challenging, but I wouldn't change it for anything. 

let's play.

Oh, how I love imaginary play, it's layered with learning. And it's a great way to beat the winter blues.

This morning there was surfing going on in my living room with homemade surf boards.

This afternoon, the girls asked if they could make up their own experiment. It ended with water, sugar, cinnamon, lots of bowls, stirring, and pouring. [Sometimes I think I've lost my mind.] This picture is before the real mess. Ha!

I told them they could do what they wanted as long as they cleaned up. They are at the age where doing dishes is cool. So they happily obliged.

And in case you are wondering, Lincoln has spent most of the day in my arms, as teething has gotten the best of him. Except for this rare moment. 

dates all around. {polar express}

We just got back from my dad's house, where all three kiddos were hanging out while Andrew and I had a double date. I walk in the door there and Audrey exclaims "but we haven't even got to spend the night yet?!" We were just picking up Lincoln to take him home with us, but the girls were staying the night, and Audrey most definitely didn't want to head back home yet. Nor did Naomi, as she was chowing down on some pizza. So Lincoln is going to have some great mama and daddy time until tomorrow afternoon.

With three little ones so close in age, we are intentional with spending separate time with each one. We go on mini-dates---last Saturday I took Audrey with me in the morning to a craft show, then just Naomi with me in the afternoon for Christmas shopping, and Lincoln helped me finished up errands in the evening. I love, love that one-on-one time.

Last weekend, we also had a fun date planned with just the girls. We dropped Lincoln off at Grandmas, (We are so blessed to have family in town!) and headed about an hour and half away to a Polar Express train ride. This trip had been planned since October, so the girls were very much looking forward to it. The girls wore pajamas, of course. There were tents set up with activities while we waited to load--train tables and coloring. If there is coloring or anything that has to do with art, my girls are on it.

We could tell the girls were loving the extra mama and daddy time. Each took turns sitting on our laps on the train. They served hot chocolate and cookies--complete with dancing elves along the aisle. Because you know, we were on our way to the North Pole. They came and punched our tickets just like they do in The Polar Express. The book was read over the speakers with the ticket boy showing the book up and down the aisle. My mama pride may have come out a little when I whipped out the book and had it ourselves to follow along. Ha. I think it is safe to say the girls favorite part was seeing Santa on the train and when he gave each of them a silver bell, just like in the book. My favorite part was when Audrey rang her bell and said she believed in Jesus.

iphone pics:

{the joy} of leaves.

I don't ever want to take for granted that we live in an area where we get four beautiful seasons. [Ok, I could do without winter, except at Christmas, but you know.]

Crunching leaves doesn't happen everywhere.

But it does here.

And I'm so thankful for that.

Today we enjoyed a slow day. We breathed in the warm temperatures that will soon disappear and swam in God's creation of oranges, reds, yellows, and browns.

Lincoln touched leaves for the first time and the girls requested their first of the season leaf pile.

Audrey twirled and sang in the pile while Naomi brought me a pile of leaves that was a "san-wuch fur du eat."

This season of life is good.

first day.

Look how big she is!!

She's only going two mornings a week. But we made a big deal out of it--she picked out a backpack and lunch bag, princess no less. I made her a cute-healthy lunch. And now I've been eyeing all these fun Bento pieces that I want to buy. If you do Bento, let me know what you recommend most! Surprisingly, there were no tears by any of us. Her teacher said she did wonderful and couldn't believe that was the first time for me leaving her. I'm pretty sure she was sold on preschool when she walked in and immediately found a snow white dress to put on. She came home with a rainbow she colored and her own name written on it. I about died from the cute.

Saying goodbye to Audrey to attend preschool wasn't hard, but leaving my three month old for a half a day was. Naomi and Lincoln will also be going the same mornings as Audrey. I'm working a bit more, so we needed some scheduled care. Naomi spent the morning with her Gamma, but Thursday she will join her siblings. I had a great report on Lincoln--he slept and ate well. When we got home, I made sure to nap right next to mister. I missed his sweet baby smell.

Naomi was so excited to see her sister again. These two are becoming quite the pair.

I'm glad the first day went so well, it makes this transition slightly a bit easier. I'm thankful for my job and for finding a great place to care for my littles. I'm thankful that I can mostly work from home, but still get some quiet, needed work time in at the office. This is a new chapter in our family book, and I'm excited for it. It's going to make me appreciate our time at home that much more. 

where i've been {lately}.

Warning: this post is filled with randomness. It's time for me to release all the stuff cluttering my brain. We are only a week into August and all of this has happened already...

Let's start with a picture, shall we?

We hit up the fair last week. I remember when we first took only Audrey and here we are bringing three kiddos now. Oh, and that picture of those two holding hands? For the most part, they really are that sweet with each other. I'm so happy they have each other. 

Besides the fair, life has been, well, just crazy-great-oh-my-gosh-busy. We hosted a housewarming party last weekend. Every single time we drive into our neighborhood I seriously breathe a sigh of relief. I'm so thankful we are here. 

I've started seriously working out again and eating better. I'm ready to make a commitment to it. I want to be healthy for me and my family. What I do, sets the example for my kids, I want them to know we should take care of the body God gave us. This boot camp (which I scored through a Groupon!) is awesome. Totally intense and awesome. It's only a five week course, but I'm learning so many great exercises I can implement at home (and I already have!). 

August has also brought more working hours for me. Previously, I worked at my church (as the Director of Elementary Programs) about 10 or so hours a week, well that just doubled. I'm so excited about it. I'm thankful that I can work mostly from home and be apart of such an awesome body of believers. I get to use my degree too! Now it's just finding the balance. For the first time ever as parents, we had to hire a babysitter to come to our house a couple times of week so I can get fixed hours in. So far, it seems to be going well. 

This month Audrey is beginning a real dance class. I say real, because she took a class before, but it was with friends at a friend's home. Which was a great introduction for her, but now she is so so excited to be in a class for dance and gymnastics. We went to an orientation class this past Monday and she just smiled and listened so well the entire time. Preschool begins for her too! She will be going two mornings a week (while I'm at work). Girlfriend is growing up. 

We got a kitty last week. And let me tell you, it is the sweetest thing ever how Audrey just adores it. And this kitty, which Audrey named Millie, is such a good sport. She even tolerates getting doll clothes put on her and getting pushed around in a stroller. I'm not even kidding. However, she isn't fond of Naomi trying to pick her up by the tail. Ahem. 

We transitioned Naomi to a toddler bed. She has been doing really well, especially considering the girls share a room. I think there has been one night I had to remind them to stay in their beds. They like to talk to each other before bed too, which is so funny because it usually ends with Audrey whispering but in a loud whisper "go to bed, Nae Nae! Shhh!" Audrey our rule-follower, Naomi our mischief. 

I think that catches me up for August. Let's end with a picture too, shall we? 

I love that I was able to wear Naomi (21months) and Lincoln (3 months) at the fair.

P.S. New header coming soon! 

my best friend's wedding.

For months now, I mean months, Audrey couldn't wait to be a flower girl in my best friend's wedding. When I bought her dress and shoes she had to put them on almost daily. Well, over the weekend, Audrey and Naomi were the sweetest little flower girls. The rehearsal didn't go so well, it was basically a dumping fest of flowers for Naomi as Audrey kept telling her "no, no! don't do that!" BUT, come wedding day, and both girls did very well. I was one of the matrons of honor, so the girls were able to walk right up to me. I can't wait to see the professional pictures, but for now I have my nifty iPhone pictures to share.

 Rehearsal night. 

Andrew and I pretty much had to tag-team the whole weekend so this is the only picture I took of us two. It was on our way to the rehearsal, which just happened to be on his birthday! My hunk of a man on his 31st birthday!

Wedding day! Naomi is really into saying "cheese" when a camera or a phone gets in her face. 

She looks innocent. But I call her my spit-fire child. 

My best friend, Kacie, had all the bridesmaids wear pretty much whatever they wanted as long as it was cream based. It was so, so awesome. 

The gorgeous couple. They didn't see each other before the ceremony, but still got a picture together!

We drove to Chicago for the event and stayed for four days. It was so fun to spend some quality time with some of my best girlfriends. But I will say, traveling with three kids, three and under is no easy task. We were so, so exhausted by the time we came home. When we were approaching our house, we talked about how thankful we were to be going home to our home. Two months ago, we would have been heading to my dad's, where we lived for almost three months. 

There is no place like home. Or sweet flower girls for that matter. 

strawberry shortcake festival.

I love starting traditions with the kiddos. I think traditions and {birthday} parties are two of my favorite things I love about being a mom. There is something special in coming to expect. I love looking back at old photos and reliving the moment in my head; thinking about that silly facial expression or the way the food tasted that day. 

Today we went to our town's annual Strawberry Shortcake Festival. It was cooler than usual for this time of year, but the sun was shining bright and the sight of kids frolicking around to the music was warmth to my heart. We had one big strawberry shortcake with three spoons. Audrey went for the whipped cream, Naomi loved the strawberries and ice cream, and I just devoured whatever was left. Lincoln was snug and so content in my Sleepy Wrap (it's like a Moby). 

We have had a couple of roller coaster days with our home we are trying to close on, so this fresh air was just what I needed. We were hoping to close tomorrow, but now it looks like it will be May 25. This journey with the house reminds me of my pregnancy and birth journey---I have to continue to let go and let God. 

Audrey was in the middle of saying "Shoot!" 

Naomi was intrigued by the birds above. 

You can see Audrey's first Strawberry Shortcake Festival here. {2009}

I think 2010 was rained out. 

You can see Naomi's first Strawberry Shortcake Festival here. {2011} 

{moments} to remember.

Outside the library this morning, Audrey asks me to take a picture of them and that is the pose she gave me--eyes closed and all. 

The words that come from Audrey's mouth each day, simply astound me. I want to know her thought process that got her to say what she says. Because some things are just so darn funny. I can't wait for Naomi to join in on the conversations we have, especially while driving.

Here are some moments that I don't want to go forgotten.

Yesterday evening while driving home from a friend's house after dinner, Audrey was starting to get cranky. In the car, Audrey says "mama, say, we are going to be home soon, honey." And so I did, and she was fine after that. This girl's love language is definitely language, words of encouragement and affirmation.

Today while driving she blurts out "look, a flying person!" I'm literally looking for a flying person. I tell her I don't see it, and she says "the cloud is flying person!" And it most certainly looked like a flying person.

At the library this morning we pull in, I look back in the rearview mirror to see Audrey closing her eyes and say "dear God, please give us a parking spot so we can go into the library." You know, we found a good spot right after that.

And just before nap, she grabs a towel I'm folding, lays down on the ground and puts the towel over her and says "mama, say, the caterpillar has to build a cocoon then turn into a butterfly." So, I say that. And she stands up and flutters around with the towel.

I want to start writing more of these little moments down. Because they make my heart burst. And three years old are just so fun and creative and full of life. I'm trying my best to preserve this fleeting, beautiful time.

18 months.

It's been a really good day. We had to travel just a little ways to get a detailed ultrasound done on baby Lincoln. His amniotic fluid and blood flow around his heart was checked and it came back fine. So, so thankful. [His fluid is still lower than normal, but it has increased by two points since last week, which is great.] The only thing the doctor really had to say was he is a big boy. At almost 35 weeks he is measuring in at 6lbs 7 oz. I know this weight can be off, as much as a pound. But yeah, I'm thinking he is going to beat his sisters birth weights at least.

It's the fifth of the month, which means my current baby turns 18 months today! A whole year and a half. This age is so challenging and fun all at the same time. Her language skills are picking up each day. She tries her best to repeat all of the words we ask, sometimes not sounding anything like it and other times surprising us. My favorite is her "thank you" which sounds like "nank nu." She absolutely loves to be outside. Climbing. Swinging. Playing with bugs. In water. She is especially enjoying living at her Gramps--right behind the house are donkeys, horses, chickens, goats, and sheep. Not a day goes by when we don't visit the animals.

It took about 10 shots to get one good one. She was not wanting to stand still and smile. 

But we managed with a little bribery. Naomi is wearing a hand-me-down dress from Audrey, which I scored at a second-hand kids store.

Audrey is wearing a vintage dress and shirt that was either mine or one of her three aunts. 

A perfect twirl dress, in deed.

They really love to hug and kiss each other. They have also started "rough housing" together, resulting in one or the other sitting on top of the other. Lincoln better watch out!

On a different fun note, I was featured on the lovely, Aliya's blog, Double the Fun today! I answer some questions about pregnancy, stop on over and say hello! And those who have stopped in from over there, "nice to meet you!"