giving thanks.

We are well into the Christmas spirit in our household, we've had our {real} tree for a week, Christmas music playing since November 1, and we have already baked sugar cookies with snowflakes, trees, candy cane, and gingerbread cut-outs. But, that doesn't mean we passed up Thanksgiving and focused on a heart of gratitude. In fact, I would say this was probably one of the best Thanksgivings yet. And not for any particular reason, but we decided to be more intentional with our time and allow for open space--time to relax, time to not-do, time for quietness and to be still in our own home. And specifically, me, I'm learning to let go of seeing life, especially holidays, as a 'check-off-the-list' thing; learning to enjoy the process rather than the end result and letting go of "rules" I've given myself in the past that have hardened my mood. I want to be present and allow God to fill the empty spaces. And if I want to put up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving, I'll do that too. {grin}

 In the past, we've been quick to fill up each day with fun activities, feeling obligated to see all family members, Black Friday shopping, and the tradition of watching the lighting in our downtown.  This year we passed on most of that. And not that those things are bad or wrong, but for us, we are desiring a season, or seasons of just being.  And what I found this Thanksgiving, is that God used our time for Him. And I'm so thankful for that. We were able to open our home to unexpected little guests, give a blanket to a young boy who was walking around in a t-shirt in the freezing cold, and bless some new friends with their first trip to the big screen movies. These moments came in the in-between, in the unplanned.

Today I finished up our Advent calendar, with a reading for each day and an activity to do. There are some blank days with zero activities, and I'm already telling myself that it's okay to not do an activity if we don't feel like it when the day comes. But to be present, in whatever we do. And to keep the heart of gratitude flowing.

We took a pit stop at the Children's Museum on the way to visit family.

Caught these two sharing secrets at the table. Be still my heart. 

Our attempt at getting Lincoln to smile. Real life at it's finest. 

Andrew and I got to sneak away for an impromptu day-date, it was fabulous! We hit up a coffee shop and I read in between working on a little secret we are going to reveal soon! 

We decided last minute to hit up our Farmer's Market this morning, live reindeer were quite the hit. 

And just for the record, Thursday evening we came home from visiting family out of town and my family ate Ramen noodles and yogurt for dinner. On Thanksgiving. Ain't no shame here.

unattainable expectations.

I'm fresh in this season. This season of feeling like I have to do everything right. Everything perfect. And if I don't, well, someone is going to be let down and not like me or judge me or think I'm a failure. This last week in particularly I've been struggling with this. Which causes me to make me feel like I'm drowning.

The problem is, this expectation came from no one but myself. Why do we do this to ourselves? Fill our brain with doubt and unattainable goals of perfection. Christ hasn't called us to perfection. In fact, it's complete opposite. He calls us, as sinners, to accept His love, and just love Him and His people. His grace is sufficient.

Here's a confession. We just got home from the kids being at preschool while I was at work.  Now I'm letting the kids eat their lunch on the coffee table while watching a movie. Linc just brought me a pair of sharp scissors. I'm eating leftovers from dinner and there is a huge sink full of dishes in my kitchen. And somehow I thought it would be a good idea to write about unattainable expectations because if I thought hard about what my current moment of life looks like I might freak out. Because, I'm far from perfect. My kids aren't learning at this very moment, my house is a mess, or I'm not spending quality time with my kiddos.

But, but I'm trying to change my habits of self destruction.  Instead of seeing this moment right now as chaos and tons of things to do. I'm taking this moment right now and seeing my kids as freely expressing themselves by putting on dance clothes and shoes to dance to the movie they are watching. [Wait, now they have asked to turn on some Nutcracker music to dance to, done with the movie.] Linc is exploring--learning about himself and things around him--currently bringing me shoe after shoe, a bit safer than scissors, thankfully. And I get to eat in peace, which is rare and pretty awesome.

My kids are okay. They are loved. I am loved, by them and my Heavenly Father. I have no one to please, but to share the grace of God and the joy that he scores deep into my heart when I realize what really matters in life. Not the dishes. Or that I let my kids watch a movie while eating lunch. Or, gasp, they don't eat all organically.

Where is my focus today? On my unattainable expectations that cause me to drown in self-destruction or on the Creator and Sustainer of all things? On the joys of today, even in the midst of chaos?

Picture completely unrelated to the post, except I look at this and am reminded that my kids accept me for who I am, my imperfections and all. Thankful for how God uses our kids to remind us of grace. 

**Did you notice the new blog title?! More on that in another post!

the weekend.

I love extra long weekends, especially when you start without really any plans and they slowly fill up with good, relaxing times. On Friday evening we went to our local pool opening, which was crazy, but it had free food. And I'm always about food, especially free. Saturday began with our tradition of garage sales and farmer's market. All five of us (hard to believe we are now a family of five!) pile in our van, which Audrey calls Rocket, and head out early in the morning. The girls stay in the van till the last garage sale, where they get to choose a little something to buy. Then off to the market. I know I've talked about it before, but our market is so fun, inviting, and full of interesting people. We can't leave without kettle corn popcorn, visiting the parrot man, and playing in the fountain.

 That Ariel toy is what she scored at the garage sale for 50 cents. She hasn't put it down yet. 

 Don't be fooled, that girl sat right down in the water and was soaked in no time at all. 

Linc hung out in the sling the entire time. I remember when I bought this one (off of Etsy) and was dreaming about the day I would wear him in it. And now it's here. 

The rest of the weekend was pretty much spent out on the lake, boating. One of my very favorite past times since childhood. I'm thankful my dad has a boat that we can readily use, one day we hope to have a boat of our own. Being that it was incredibly hot and Linc isn't big enough for a life-jacket, Andrew and I took turns staying home with him, while the other when on the boat with the girls. Which brings me to the point, that little dude is taking a bottle! About once a day we have been giving him a bottle so that he continues to do well with it. My girls very rarely got a bottle and didn't really like it, so this time around I introduced earlier and more regularly. Andrew loves the bonding time and I like the very small break. Win win!

Hope your weekend was lovely! I definitely didn't let it go by without remembering those who are serving and those who have served. 

townie.

Did you know I never moved anywhere growing up? Same house all of childhood. Then when college came, I experienced the dorm life for a short bit, moved back home to help my mom when she was ill, and then lived in an apartment with my best friend before I got married. All in the same town. And I'm still here.

To tell you the truth, we don't have plans to really ever move away. Yeah, there are warmer climates I would looooove to live in (especially during the winter months). And to have a lemon tree right outside my house? That would be delightful. But, for obvious reasons (family-hello, free babysitting) and not-so-obvious reasons, I'm happy and content with this town, I have and will (probably) always call home.

In fact, the house we are praying about buying is just minutes from where I grew up. Like, our kids will be going to the same elementary school I went to. Never in a million years did I think that would be my future when I was a teenager.  I was totally "I can't wait to get out and experience the world and move away." [Funny how you think you have to go searching for something and it's really right under your nose.]

Family Saturday Ritual: Farmer's Market- popcorn and music is a must. Oh, summer, please don't fade away too fast.

So, we are here, doing our thing, creating new and exciting experiences in this same ol'town of mine. Embracing it full-on. [Also? I would not be opposed to lots of family traveling in the future.]

to the market.

Holiday weekends are the best, aren't they? I love having the excuse to do absolutely nothing except spend time with the people you care most about. That's exactly what we have been doing. Including one of my most favorite things--go the farmer's market on Saturday mornings. It's becoming our little family tradition. Audrey knows she can expect some delicious kettle corn and go dance with the bird man. Heck, Naomi has been going since she was just four days old. And now, she is almost nine months. {whoa}

Today I picked up the biggest zucchini I have ever seen, tomatoes, cucumbers, wild red plum jelly, the most amazing peaches I have ever tasted, and some free flowers given to us because my girls are just so darn cute. [I'm not a proud mama or anything.] Then I tried to snap some pictures of the girls with a beautiful brick background at the market. I managed two shots, because they were more interested in the brick then looking at me.

One of my all time favorite pictures I captured today has nothing to do with the market.

But I cannot resist sharing this most adorable bum picture.

The rolls are as scrumptious as they look.