moments to put away in the time capsule.

I could share all the great things we've been doing lately--we had jam-packed, fun-filled days. But I want to go beyond the fun, and reflect on the true treasures, the little moments that make my heart skip a beat and say this, this is what life is all about.

On Friday Audrey was playing with a glass bird of mine that's a table decoration, that she knows she isn't suppose to play with. And oh hey, it breaks. I go into the room after I hear the shatter and I don't say a word. I just sit holding the broken pieces. And I sit. Audrey runs upstairs, I knew she felt bad for what she did, but I also knew she needed that alone time. A few minutes later she comes down.

"Mama, did you know I was upstairs?"

"Yes, dear, what were you doing?"

"I was sitting in the guest room asking God to forgive me."

"For breaking the bird?"

"Yeah."

"Honey, I'm so glad you felt it in your heart to ask for forgiveness. He forgives you and so do I. You are loved by God and by me so much. I wasn't sad that the bird broke, but I was sad for you disobeying me when I asked you not to play with it. But it's okay. I'm so thankful for forgiveness and we don't have to worry about it after we ask for others to forgive us."

Then she said she wanted to keep praying in the guest room. And she did. (I snuck in very quietly to snap a picture and to listen in.)

My prayer is that forgiveness and grace will be written on my children's hearts their whole life. It's so simple, yet we sometimes make it more than it has to be. I am forgiven. I am loved.

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Another sweet moment from the weekend--we watched some friend's kiddos tonight and while watching a movie, eating popcorn, Lincoln just kept going up to Naomi to kiss her. Over and over. With the kissing sound and all. It was too much.

My prayer is that my children will always remember that sharing affection can heal our hearts. Love is always the answer.
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Thursdays are the only days the kids aren't in school for half the day or have another commitment. I call it our play-day. And if it allows, we stay home and relish in the ability to do whatever we want. After a quick trip to Target to get my beloved fall candle (that I usually buy September first, but this year it took a few extra days), we decided it was a fort-building day with interrupted moments of dancing to worship music. I try to keep worship music playing in the background all day, because it keeps me grounded, and a reminder of where my focus should be--ministering the love of Jesus to my kiddos. I don't want to forget the awe of the kids' eyes when we made the tent and got Christmas lights out, and even got to eat lunch under it. It required zero money, but fulfilled our hearts.

My prayer is that my children will remember that money and things are not the answer to their happiness. But that the answer is always right before their eyes...happiness is bound by loved ones.

When I need these sweet reminders, I'm going to visit this time capsule.

unattainable expectations.

I'm fresh in this season. This season of feeling like I have to do everything right. Everything perfect. And if I don't, well, someone is going to be let down and not like me or judge me or think I'm a failure. This last week in particularly I've been struggling with this. Which causes me to make me feel like I'm drowning.

The problem is, this expectation came from no one but myself. Why do we do this to ourselves? Fill our brain with doubt and unattainable goals of perfection. Christ hasn't called us to perfection. In fact, it's complete opposite. He calls us, as sinners, to accept His love, and just love Him and His people. His grace is sufficient.

Here's a confession. We just got home from the kids being at preschool while I was at work.  Now I'm letting the kids eat their lunch on the coffee table while watching a movie. Linc just brought me a pair of sharp scissors. I'm eating leftovers from dinner and there is a huge sink full of dishes in my kitchen. And somehow I thought it would be a good idea to write about unattainable expectations because if I thought hard about what my current moment of life looks like I might freak out. Because, I'm far from perfect. My kids aren't learning at this very moment, my house is a mess, or I'm not spending quality time with my kiddos.

But, but I'm trying to change my habits of self destruction.  Instead of seeing this moment right now as chaos and tons of things to do. I'm taking this moment right now and seeing my kids as freely expressing themselves by putting on dance clothes and shoes to dance to the movie they are watching. [Wait, now they have asked to turn on some Nutcracker music to dance to, done with the movie.] Linc is exploring--learning about himself and things around him--currently bringing me shoe after shoe, a bit safer than scissors, thankfully. And I get to eat in peace, which is rare and pretty awesome.

My kids are okay. They are loved. I am loved, by them and my Heavenly Father. I have no one to please, but to share the grace of God and the joy that he scores deep into my heart when I realize what really matters in life. Not the dishes. Or that I let my kids watch a movie while eating lunch. Or, gasp, they don't eat all organically.

Where is my focus today? On my unattainable expectations that cause me to drown in self-destruction or on the Creator and Sustainer of all things? On the joys of today, even in the midst of chaos?

Picture completely unrelated to the post, except I look at this and am reminded that my kids accept me for who I am, my imperfections and all. Thankful for how God uses our kids to remind us of grace. 

**Did you notice the new blog title?! More on that in another post!

from where i stand.

For some reason today I stopped and imagined my life in five years, when Lincoln would be in kindergarten and the girls reading and having slumber parties. All the kids in school. Not changing diapers. Or refilling sippy cups. Or dodging toys on the ground as I dash for Lincoln before he jumps off the coffee table. Okay, well that last part may not change in five years. But I know a lot will.

And sometimes, okay, confession, a lot of times, my mind goes there. Eagerly desiring it. When my babies will be independent and I can breathe and maybe just maybe read a book at the pool instead of chasing one, two, three little ones.

When I went there in my mind. Five years down the road, I missed this. Where I stand right now. Rocking Lincoln before every nap and bed, snuggling singing our favorite songs Amazing Grace, Three Little Birds, and Come Thou Fount. Playing peek-a-boo with a book I gave him to distract him while I get his pajamas on. Listening to Naomi say the funniest things in her sweet toddler voice. Watching her pretend to nurse her babies and jump jump jump when I'm holding her hand. See, Audrey is almost there. Her independence is blossoming every single day like a wildflower in an open field. Heck, somehow she talked me into letting her get her ears pierced at four years old. [And she has reminded every single day when to clean her ears. I knew my sweet rule-follower would take to heart the directions the ear lady gave her. Ear lady? I don't even know. I can't come up with a better term.]  I can tell she is teetering between being a full blown kid and holding onto being little for a tad bit longer. She still uses the word "boo-boos" when she gets hurt, and I won't tell her any different, because it keeps her that small that much longer. She still sleeps with her blankie, and she can do that as long as she wants. At the same time she can make her own peanut butter and jelly, crack her own hard-boiled egg, and open and close all the baby gates, which comes in handy. I can tell her to go get ready for the day and she comes downstairs in her own attire of choice and hair done, which mainly includes wearing at least six different clips. She is writing stories in her own language and already pretending to do homework. But wasn't she just born yesterday?

Time is fleeting. And five years will be here tomorrow. And I'll be wondering where the little years went.

So today, I take in where I stand. Babies clinging to my legs. Carrying sleeping toddlers up to their rooms after a morning at the park. Packing a household when we leave for even a day. Watching the giant smirks that appear when we chase each other endlessly outside. Always carrying wipes and diapers around, with a few goldfish mushed in between in my purse. Buckling and tightening carseat straps, kissing head bonks, and fulfilling snuggle requests before bed. Pretending to be a fairy chased by an evil dragon, or having a little car zooming around on my arm.  These are the years. The hard, exhausting, surprising, beautiful years.

Tomorrow is not promised, but today, where I stand right now, is what I have.

Our reflection in The Bean in Chicago last week. That pretty much captures where I stand pretty well, or I should say where I lay. Chaotic love. Just the way I want it. 

raising confident kids.

I'm not talking confidence in oneself. I'm talking confidence in Christ.

When Audrey came into this world, she was immediately hooked up to monitors and we went directly from one hospital to another. At a mere five days she had to have a heart procedure done. I stressed about how much she nursed, how she slept, how she breathed. I basically tried to prevent something ever happening to her when she was a baby. My goal was to not let her cry, (except she cried a lot, because she was a more challenging baby-go figure) because then, then that would mean she was uncomfortable or hurt or needed me and I wasn't protecting her.

Right?

Wrong.

I lived in fear. I was putting more trust in my own human abilities, knowing that they fail, rather than trusting Jesus.

God calls us in the Bible to fear not. (Joshua 1:3-9)

Fear not.

He called Moses, Abraham, David, and the list goes on, to be strong and courageous. Even when you are fighting a battle. Even when all odds are against you. Because God will never leave us or forsake us. Never.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present, nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

So fear not. 

This is something that I am learning. It doesn't come naturally for me to be a dare-devil, worry-free person, especially when it comes to my children. [Don't get me wrong, God also calls us to be wise in our decision making.]

I'm learning to give my children whole-heartily over to God. To raise brave kids, who find their confidence in Their Creator.

I don't expect my children to be someone they aren't, but I do want them to trust Jesus.

Their Creator knows them way better than I ever will. So I trust Him. I trust Him with the loves of my life. And I say things to my children throughout the day like It's ok, God is always with you, even when you fall down and get a boo-boo. Or God will always love you, He made you! or God tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made, isn't that awesome! Or Just talk to God if you are feeling scared. 

And although I'm telling those things to my children, I am also telling them to myself. To remind myself that God is in control. To have confidence in Him and His Abilities.

So when Audrey climbs that fence and could, wait for it, get tetnus, because I think about that, I still let her climb.

When the girls roll down the hill and oh my gosh, might wake up with chiggers the next day, I let them roll.

When Lincoln climbs the coffee table, I teach him how to get down himself, and let him figure it out.

And when my child has to be wheeled off on a hospital bed, I whisper, fear not, God is with you. And I whole-heartily turn to Jesus.

"In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence." Ephesians 3:12

This picture is from my brother's wedding in June, so incredibly thankful to be having a normal summer. The every day is so, so good. 

favorite moments.

I've of been feeling sluggish the last few days. But there have been a few moments that just make my whole heart smile and keeps me going. It's like my gas gauge almost gets to empty and bam, I'm filled again with an abundance of cuteness. I decided I needed to write these cherished moments down so I don't forget them.

Yesterday Naomi wasn't feeling well. Audrey took it upon herself to make her a picture, get her a bowl in case she needed to get sick, ask her if she wanted a blanket, and put her hair up out of her face so it wouldn't get yucky if she did get sick. She also offered to watch Dora, since it is one of Naomi's favorite. Audrey is such a little mama, I love the way she cares for her siblings.

I asked Naomi what movie she wanted to watch--Brave or Sound of Music? She chose Sound of Music, I was definitely happy about that choice! I'd say her top favorite movie is Annie though.

I took a shower with Lincoln and he was so so snuggly, he even fell asleep on me in the shower. I'm pretty sure he was thinking "Ma, this is like where I was a year ago- in your belly, take me back, take me back!" Ha!

Here's a favorite moment from a few weeks ago:

While I was making dinner one evening the girls were outside, spending forever just sitting in this area moving nature pieces around and chatting. I was watching from the window so I came outside to check it out. They were making a whole world--their imagination never ceases to amaze me. 

I don't ever want to take for granted this blessed role God gave me--to be each of my children's mama. It can be so tough and challenging, but I wouldn't change it for anything. 

lately.

I can't seem to shake something I saw on Pinterest a few weeks ago. The funny thing is, I didn't even repin it, so I can't quote it word for word. But I remember the core value of the statement--your children won't do what you say, but do what you do.

Truth.

If I"m not walking the walking, I can't tell them to.

What do I truly desire for my children? To have Jesus on their hearts. The Holy Spirit living, breathing through them. To understand The Story is apart of their story. We don't have to fully understand The Story, but that is where faith steps in. To understand and accept grace. To live a life of joy that is connected with serving and giving.

These thoughts are constantly running through my head. And it goes directly back to what am I doing? Am I serving? Am I giving? Am I living a life filled with the joy of Jesus? This internal conversation in my head is pulling me in all sorts of direction. I'm getting frustrated with myself--like I'm not cut out for this job.  I see myself fail over and over.

But then, hello. GRACE.

I'm so glad I can be broken and loved. Not perfect and forgiven.

Then I'm reminded that my children will see Him through me. See His grace for me. For them.

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Not sure if any of this makes sense. I just wrote and hit published.

finding perspective.

I'm going to be honest, the last six weeks or so haven't been easy in our household. My husband has been dealing with a some-what chronic pain that doesn't really have a cure (yet). It has come mostly in the evenings, you know, when I'm ready to pass the baton and take a mama breather. I've been holding the baton, barely holding on, waiting and looking for a hand to grab it.

Today, I think I finally felt like the finish was near. Or at least I'm going to make it.

Words of encouragement have seeped in that have helped tremendously. I thought I might share some of those words, in hopes, that it could encourage someone else in the midst of a trial.

[These words are from some of my best friends. I'm pretty blessed.]

"During my frustrating times, I try to remember everything has a season. This too shall pass. One day at a time. And I truly think God uses these moments so we have no other option but to look to Him. He promises to give us rest. I pray you feel a peace that surpasses human understanding in your trialing moments!" 

"Remember, God designs every trial specifically for each of us, so that we remember that when the world fails around us, HE is is here we put our trust and faith.  God will see this through - for both of you - because HE is bigger than your circumstances. His promise is eternal. His plan extends beyond what we can see. Stay strong. Get rest when you can.  Don't be afraid to ask for help from others to juggle all the things on your plate right now.  Be the encouragement Andrew needs."

"He rewards those who earnestly seek him.  Hebrews 11:7 Let those words soak into your bones today.  KNOW that he is in control and KNOW that he wants you to trust him." 

I was able to find perspective in those words. In His words.

Valentine's morning we woke up, I had to get all the kids ready by myself for school so I could get to work. The girls were a bit grumpy, and if I'm honest, I was a bit too. So in the car, I told the girls we were going to listen to some worship music so we can remind ourselves what our focus should be on. We were listening to a song talking about getting upset over little things like losing keys and getting a speeding ticket, when in the grand scheme of life, it doesn't matter. I was nodding along to the song, absorbing those words. And guess what happens to me? I lock myself out of my van at work, in which we only have one set of keys. This was clearly God's sense of humor. And I laughed right along.

That brought perspective to me.

As I was scanning Pinterest the other day, I came across a quote that said sometime along the lines of "Your child will follow your example, not your advice." Whoa. Truth. I'm constantly telling my kids to choose joy. Yet, in the last six weeks, I can tell you, I haven't been very good about doing it myself. If I want my children to be joyful in all circumstances, then I must do the same. It's not an easy task, but thankfully grace allows for me to continue to reach for it.

I found perspective in that quote. Choose joy. Be receptive to grace.

He was annoyed because sister kept poking him in the head. It was sort of hilarious.

I'm slowly learning that perspective is all around me. In the little moments of feeding Lincoln breakfast. In watching my eldest dream and create. In twirling with Naomi as she describes herself as a "bootiful princess." 

Finding perspective to carry me through tiring, trying moments, that are only temporary, but His promise is eternal. 

let's play.

Oh, how I love imaginary play, it's layered with learning. And it's a great way to beat the winter blues.

This morning there was surfing going on in my living room with homemade surf boards.

This afternoon, the girls asked if they could make up their own experiment. It ended with water, sugar, cinnamon, lots of bowls, stirring, and pouring. [Sometimes I think I've lost my mind.] This picture is before the real mess. Ha!

I told them they could do what they wanted as long as they cleaned up. They are at the age where doing dishes is cool. So they happily obliged.

And in case you are wondering, Lincoln has spent most of the day in my arms, as teething has gotten the best of him. Except for this rare moment. 

my season {of life} right now.

I was almost going to let March go on by without even saying hello on here. I was going to flip the calendar page and move on. Not because it has been a bad March. It's just been a tiring one. Between getting a new roof, getting a tree cut down, a septic pumped, carpets cleaned, car repairs, packing, moving, and of course, enjoy our unusually warm spring with trips to the beach, a waterfall, multiple parks, and the zoo, I sit down at night and have enough energy to just be. Oh, and there's my part-time job too aside from full-time growing a baby and parenting. [You guys, baby Lincoln will be here in no time. Eek!]

Creek exploring. 

 Getting ready to take a walk to our local Science Museum. 

 Outdoor painting. 

Trip to the zoo about two weeks ago (and me 31 weeks along). 

 One of my very favorite pictures of the girls. 

The hugging and kissing that takes place daily tugs at my heart strings.

 Waterfall exploring.

 Yeah, that happens. Hand holding at it's finest.

When everything is packed away for moving, you get out tubs for water play. 

And then you are the coolest mom ever. Just keeping it real. 

 Porch playing.

Beach going. It got up to 85 degrees last week. I still can't believe we were in swimsuits. I mean, they were in swimsuits. You won't find me in one. Ha!

Trip to the zoo today! 

It's a good tired, no doubt. But this is my season of life. I don't think the tiredness is going to change anytime soon. [Hello, newborn comes in t-6 weeks.]

I mentioned we moved, right? We officially sold our (second) home on Monday. It feels really good. Two years ago we bought this 1930's bungalow with plans to live in it and "flip-it" in two years--and we did just that! We packed almost everything away in storage and are now crashing at my dad's, in hopes that we will get the house we put an offer in (we should hear something sometime around the beginning of April). I'm thankful he has the space, but we are still really limited. And still adjusting. Poor sweet Audrey is having a difficult time with the change. Both physically and emotionally she has not been acting her normal self. I'm trying my best to be extra patient with her and show her grace.

I do hope to start blogging again. It's quite therapeutic for me. And as busy and tired as I am in this season of life, I want to remember the little moments.







**Thank you to those who mention you love reading this little space. It is encouraging!**

purging, packing, and pinterest.

Last week, I wrote about my call to motherhood, and how I declined a free week stay in Jamaica due to my pregnancy and the sheer fact I wasn't ready to leave my other two babies for six days. I was suppose to be at the beach all last week. God gave me such peace about my decision and all week, I had no regrets. [It probably helped that we had such amazingly warm weather as well.] In fact, I think I appreciated making those flower peanut butter and honey sandwiches just a tad more and dancing on the whim in the living room happened freely because I was here and really wanted to be. It was like the idea of absence made my heart grow fonder.

Little did I know, that God actually had other exciting plans for me {and my family} instead of listening to the ocean roar. This last week, we sold our house. Fo real. And it all happened in an unplanned flash. There is no doubt that it was part of God's plan though and in His perfect timing. It all started the weekend when I was suppose to be leaving for Jamaica--we had a showing without even our house officially being on the market. We quickly put it on the market on Tuesday and had an offer by late that evening. I'm not even kidding. Skip ahead two days and we had another showing and by that evening we had two awesome offers on the table. Not to mention another showing that night. We have accepted an offer and having a closing date in March.

So, now I am slowly starting to pack. I figured a should do a box or two a day while my belly isn't totally ginormous yet (just about three months till Lincoln's arrival!), and take advantage of my "nesting" period I'm in right now. [I may have randomly went through all my spices and transferred them to cute glass jars just so they can match. Because you know, that's important before moving. Ha.] I'm going through closets and purging. I love it. And Pinterest. Don't get me started on this slight obsession. I'm getting crazy home ideas on there.

I'm trying not to think too far ahead, being that we haven't actually closed yet. But it is so exciting and stressful and fun all at the same time. In the next three months we will have sold our third home, bought a new one (that we plan to be in for a very long time), and have our third baby in three and a half years. Are we nuts? Why, yes, yes we are. Thankfully, I can give my worries to My King, because there is no way that I could have controlled how this is all working out. If you think about, I would love some prayers about finding our next home and that between now and mid-March the house selling process will go smoothly.

motherhood calls.

I bought the cutest black floppy hat the other week. I have a suitcase partly packed with a maternity swimsuit and other sorts. I went through my summer dresses to see what I could wear with my ever-expanding belly.

All of this in anticipation of my big trip to Jamaica, that has been planned for months. Originally, my dad was going to take my younger sister with him on this all-inclusive, six day trip to a gorgeous hotel right on the ocean. (For her big 16th birthday). But then his plans changed and he was going to be in Africa, so someone else needed to go with her. With a smile, I gladly volunteered. Free trip to the Caribbean. Yes, please.

Now, let me go back to my doctor appointment I had last Thursday. We went up to Indianapolis, to our specialist to check on the blood clot that was found on my placenta four weeks ago. Great news--the blood clot hadn't increased in size (nor did it decrease, but it changed shape for the better to give the baby more room), and the baby is still growing great, about a 1-1.5 weeks ahead of schedule, in fact. They were concerned that the baby's growth would be affected, but they no longer have that concern and I can be monitored by my regular doctor from here on out. I also got the "go ahead" from the nurse to travel out of the country.

Then my regular 24-week doctor appointment came yesterday morning. My doctor reviewed the results from Thursday and had a couple of other tests he wanted me to do. Then I told him I was going out of the country. And the red flag appeared. He advised me not to leave because if something was to happen (even if it is a low risk) I wouldn't get the proper care I needed. So at this point I was feeling extremely stressed and frustrated because of the extra tests I had to do and hearing Jamaica wasn't a good idea. All I heard was  "Going on vacation to relax and do nothing, sleep in, and have food made for you, isn't in your best interest." What?!

I have been praying about my decision almost non-stop since yesterday morning. There was more than just the blood-clot concern factor, I had some other stuff weighing on me. I asked God to give me peace and discernment about my decision. I realized I was having a lot of anxiety about leaving my girls for six days, even though they were going to be very well taken care of (the hubs was taking extra time off and I had family lined up to watch them during the day). And they probably wouldn't even remember the time I left them to go on this trip. But the thought of not seeing them for that long, nor have the luxury to just call anytime I wanted, was too much for me. I missed them like crazy and I hadn't even left yet.

I had to make a decision today. And I'm feeling really at peace with it. Ultimately, it was my decision, not the doctors. Andrew had even encouraged me to go, he knows how bad I could use this most amazing vacation. But, right now. Motherhood calls. I'm trading free food made for me at every meal, sleeping in, and relaxing on the beach looking out at the clear water, for my everyday tasks of cleaning, making meals, putting puzzles together, running errands, and playing with my sweet babies. (Whew, that last sentence was a doozy to type.)

Thankfully, my oldest sister is going to take my place and go with my younger sister. They are going to have so much fun, I'm quite excited for them. I may have also called the hubs and requested we go to the ocean very very soon as a family. The ocean is one of my very favorite spots. I also told him he has to make one meal next week (which he does not cook), so that I can pretend I'm in Jamaica getting food made for me.  He said that would be just fine.

Motherhood is definitely a sacrifice. But one that has the most intangible rewards. Ever.

Motherhood calls and I'm answering it with a smile.

this girl.

She is such a ham. We were in the kitchen and Audrey was moving around a chair and then sat down in it to do a project at the table. The next thing I know, Naomi has dragged a little blue chair into the kitchen from Audrey's room and sat right down.

I just didn't want to forget this little moment. It made my heart smile.

today.

It's raining today. All day. I made it a goal to keep the kiddos in their footie pajamas as long as possible. They are currently taking their afternoon nap in them, so far so good. I took them out of the house today just so I could go to Starbucks and buy one of my favs--peppermint white chocolate mocha (decaf, nonfat). I have multiple Starbucks giftcards in my wallet. This makes me very, very happy.

This morning Audrey and I made a "thankful tree." (Took the idea from my cousin.) I cut out the tree, branches, and leaves. But she did the gluing and coloring. She also traced the words "Give Thanks." She is kind of an awesome tracer, I must say.  We are doing a "thankful" leaf for each day. We had to catch up and do three today. I asked her what she was thankful God gave us. She said clouds, trees, and scissors. I agree. She even drew a little picture of each thing under the word.

I've started to listen to Christmas music. Mainly while I'm driving. On Tuesday I had a "day-off" for my birthday present from Andrew and while I was browsing Target {alone} I decided to jump on the band-wagon and buy the She & Him Christmas Album. I'm glad I did, it's light and airy and not-too over the top Christmas-y. I do have a personal rule not to put up any Christmas decor till the day after Thanksgiving. In fact, I love having the fall colors up around the house still and celebrating Thanksgiving in it's full.

And just because this picture cracks me. It's like a window into a real life moment.

Also, I have been lacking on comment response. But I plan to catch up! Thank you to those who take the time to leave a comment, I definitely read it and even think about the sweet words throughout the day! xoxo

i declared today a nothing day.

Pretty much for the last eight days, we have been going and going. With lots of fun things that have brought giggles and sheer joy-- like birthday parties at bowling alleys and pony rides and a petting zoo and trips to here and there. Being on the go is good. I love experiencing new things, especially through the eyes of my girls. But sometimes a day or two break, brings us back to the appreciation of just the every day.

That's just what we did today. We let go of commitments and the need to get out of the house. I may have even stayed in my pajamas until the afternoon. Audrey and I started "school" today while Naomi had her morning nap. I have been wanting to do this for awhile now. But I put all this pressure on myself that I had to have this big elaborate plan and nothing was holding up to my own standards. After all, I was a preschool and kindergarten teacher. But the other day, it hit me. Audrey won't care how nice and neat and organized our school time is, she is just going to love doing things together. So this morning she glued noodles onto the letter Aa and then I hid the letter Aa around the house and she had so much fun going on a letter hunt, I think she went on four or five hunts!

Before dinner, we spent a good deal of time outside in our backyard. These days are are almost gone where we hit the beautiful 60 degrees. Naomi watched, while Audrey and I racked up a big pile of leaves to play in. I wasn't sure if Audrey would actually get in the leaves. But then sometimes, she totally surprises me and goes all in. She went all in with the leaves. Even pulled up a chair to jump off into the pile.

There is nothing better than stomping around and throwing leaves up in the air. I'm pretty sure it's magical. 

Hello, fall, I sure do love you.

Tomorrow Audrey turns THREE! We are heading to one of her favorite places, The Children's Museum. And I'm thinking the day may have to start with sprinkled doughnuts.

oh, hi.

I have a tendency to do this, take a hiatus from blogging when I get a pregnant. [That sentence makes it sound like a get a pregnant a lot. Ha.] The past two times have been because I was constantly throwing up and anything that didn't involve that, was not a priority. This time around, I'm actually still feeling pretty good, but life has just been super busy. And the sheer exhaustion? Totally kicked in this week. Naptime means rest time for me and I go to bed about 9:30 every night, the times I would normally be blogging. I also got sick Monday night, but that is nothing in comparison to how bad I know it can get. I'm still so thankful for the way I'm feeling. As long as I am constantly eating, I feel okay. I still regret not getting up at 4:30am to eat a bowl of cereal last night. For an hour and a half I sat in bed thinking about it. Just saying.

I made homemade pumpkin pie and pot roast yesterday. That smell was filling my home with the most amazing aroma all day long. I'm pretty sure that's what sold our house. What? Did I say, sold? Why, yes I did. Okay, it's not sold yet. But we did get an offer last night. Praying that everything goes smoothly with it. Also? The house that we have been eyeing since July--the one with 5 acres, yeah, it got an offer last week. God has a plan for us. And I'm confident in that, and surprisingly not feeling too stressed about it (being the planner I am...of course, I threw my planning skills out the window when I found I was pregnant. Time to go with the flow, aye?)

In just about a week, Naomi turns one. ONE. People. October also means Audrey's birthday and my birthday. We are going to be celebrating every other weekend. I shall not complain. I do love cupcakes.

I'm also making it a goal to blog more in October. And drink as much apple cider as I can, and eat as much pumpkin-anything. [I set attainable goals, what can I say.] Yeah, October is one of my favorite months. You too?

sister. friend.

While making dinner, I hear down the hall and in the living room complete and utter laughter coming from the girls. Then I hear We are playing together! Naomi is playing with me! She is chasing me! She likes it when I do this funny sound! At that point I didn't care if I was about to burn dinner, I wasn't going to miss seeing them play together. 

Sure enough, Naomi was cracking up at her sister. Crawling around as fast as she could to get her. And of course, Audrey loved it, chase is one of her favorite games right now. My heart was melting faster than dinner was burning. This is what I have been dreaming about and it is slowly starting to happen. The girls become each other's playmate. Protector. Helper. Friend.

Taken early today at the Children's Museum. My sweet little dinosaur sisters.

I know their relationship isn't going to always be perfect. [I have three sisters myself, I know how it can go.] I'm already telling Audrey over and over to be more gentle. Share. Watch out for her fingers. Etc. But, I'm sure of this--their relationship is going to teach them how to love more and forgive more, and for that I'm thankful.

townie.

Did you know I never moved anywhere growing up? Same house all of childhood. Then when college came, I experienced the dorm life for a short bit, moved back home to help my mom when she was ill, and then lived in an apartment with my best friend before I got married. All in the same town. And I'm still here.

To tell you the truth, we don't have plans to really ever move away. Yeah, there are warmer climates I would looooove to live in (especially during the winter months). And to have a lemon tree right outside my house? That would be delightful. But, for obvious reasons (family-hello, free babysitting) and not-so-obvious reasons, I'm happy and content with this town, I have and will (probably) always call home.

In fact, the house we are praying about buying is just minutes from where I grew up. Like, our kids will be going to the same elementary school I went to. Never in a million years did I think that would be my future when I was a teenager.  I was totally "I can't wait to get out and experience the world and move away." [Funny how you think you have to go searching for something and it's really right under your nose.]

Family Saturday Ritual: Farmer's Market- popcorn and music is a must. Oh, summer, please don't fade away too fast.

So, we are here, doing our thing, creating new and exciting experiences in this same ol'town of mine. Embracing it full-on. [Also? I would not be opposed to lots of family traveling in the future.]

{random} things to share.

I went to Walmart today for the first time in a very long time, it's not my first or second or even third, fourth, or fifth choice of stores, but it was convienant to get an oil change and do shopping at the same time. On that note, I totally caved and bought Oreo's that were in the middle aisle. Smart marketing placement.

I would match rather do art and crafts with my kiddos then play pretend. I'm not saying I don't play pretend, because, by golly I make a gosh darn good Ariel, horse, salamander, and Prince Charming. BUT, give me crayons, markers, paints, stamps, I'm your girl.

Painting an egg carton to turn it into a caterpillar, then we made a butterfly from coffee filters.

We have had three showings on our house in the last week! Which means, hello, spotless house. One couple has come twice and looked at it--eek! I'm trying not to think about it just praying and waiting.  Have I mentioned we found a house we love on 5 acres? Praying for that too. Also? I may or may not have thought about a good location for a  home birth in this possibly future home. Just saying.

I really need to pick up my real camera again. Hence, all the instagram pictures.

Naomi is getting a mouth full of teeth--she just cut three more, making her grand total of eight! Audrey only had four till she was about fifteen months old, so this is new to me.

Hi friends! (This is at my friend's house, cute suitcases, huh?)

We have been soaking in summer as much as possible before it ends. Trips to the zoo, lots of parks in the morning when it has been a wee bit cooler, and the splash pad.

Sister kisses.

I really do hope to get back into blogging again. It's such a good outlet for me. Plus, I looooove the connection with YOU guys. So tell me, what's new?

refueled.

this morning, while i was driving to a nearby park, i had a moment of complete peace with an energy boost all at once. and yeah, it involved caffeine, but i won't let it take the credit like it can sometimes.  i was in our van, sipping coffee from one of my favorite mugs (hand-painted by me on a trip to a pottery shop years ago with some close girlfriends), the girls were chatting in the back with each other, worship music was on, and the beams, oh those sun beams were hitting us just right.

i needed that moment. it was like God saying, good morning to me right there. [His mercies are new every morning.]

then at the park. it was cool. sunny. and practically just us. (we went at nine. i think i'm going to do that more often.)

(these pictures were posted on facebook and instagram, but i couldn't resist sharing them again.

the first and last pictures are unedited. like i said, hello sunbeams.)

so, i want to know, what fuels you? 

life lesson {you can do it}.

I tried to teach Audrey a life lesson today. That it's okay to be scared and still do things. How did I teach her, you ask? Oh, you may laugh a little or at least give a half-smirk. Ready for it?

I went off the diving board.

And this is when I had a realization that I am in fact, growing older and turning into a true parent. I was actually nervous to go off the diving board. [Don't you remember when your mom didn't want to jump on the trampoline and do flips with you or go tubing with you behind the boat? I was always like what mom, it's the best ever. You are strange to not want to do these awesome things.] Alright, I wasn't just jumping off, I was attempting to whip out a back-dive. And all I kept envisioning was me doing a back-flop.

But I looked at Audrey right before and told her it was okay if I was feeling a little scared, I know I can do it.

And I did. Totally did my back-dive with pointed toes and all. Let me mention, I haven't been off a diving board in over three years, since before I was pregnant with Audrey. So, it was kind of a [big] deal to me.

Now, really a back-dive isn't a big deal. But the real deal, is encouraging my babies when they are feeling a little scared and boosting their confidence with you can do it.  And what better way to teach then to do.

These, girls, I want them to know that they can do it. It doesn't matter what it is, big or small.

You go, girls.

Audrey typical play: shoe turns into a boat to save Cinderella and her horse.

Book-lover Naomi. 

YOU CAN DO IT.