the gift of today.

About a week or so ago, I had a hard week. It was the first week of preschool for the kids, with a new schedule this year, I had an intense work week and so did Andrew. I felt like I was drowning. And I noticed how my kids attitude were a direct reflection of my own. They whined and groaned and cried, it seemed all week, taking turns, so someone was whining at every moment throughout the week, and I may have been in that rotation of whiners.

 I absolutely did not take that week as a gift. I did not see that week in the eyes of gratitude. [In fact, my eye sight literally became blurry, at that moment I knew I needed to stop and take a step back and breathe and take care of myself.] The joy was mushed beneath the backpacks and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and dirty diapers and dishes in the sink and dirt on the floor and seat buckles to buckle and, you get the point.

So it goes, I let go of my expectations. Lowered them. And I tell myself over and over, today is a gift. Our days are numbered. This world is temporary, as much as sometimes we feel invincible and the days will not end. They will.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

We are not entitled to our everyday. That was a lesson well-learned this past summer with Naomi's cancer diagnosis. I don't want to forget that. [And why my blog title was changed to The Gift of Today.]

And oh my, yesterday was quite certainly a gift from God. His grace was so abundant as we returned to the hospital after a three month hiatus. Emotions were high and low and across the board last week and up until the moment we heard the results of her tests from yesterday. Fear was there. Our flesh, our human, sinful nature, wanted to welcome fear, but our unwavering faith pushed it out. And it took a lot of pushing. A lot of focusing on The Creator, but He allowed for that peace to fill us.

On the way to the hospital we saw another glorious sunrise, that was not by accident. God is a pretty sweet artist. And the kids were really good. Let's be honest, with three little ones, it is not an easy statement to say all the kids were joyful and good. But they were, thank you Jesus. Naomi couldn't eat breakfast like the other two, but she was satisfied with the fact that she could carry her banana around until after her scans. Her IV took one quick poke and she was good to go. The nurses couldn't believe how low-key she was for a two year old--she didn't even have to be sedated for her scan, because she laid perfectly still. [And if you know Naomi, her stubbornness can come out and well, hello, she is the middle-child.] We waited for two hours to talk with our oncologist, Dr. Long. Waiting on a hospital floor, especially on a hematologist-oncologist pediatric floor, isn't the most comfortable feeling. But God protected my thoughts by focusing on Naomi's sweet way of play while we waited.

Then the news came. Although the chances of Naomi's cancer returning are very slim, there is still a chance. But that chance didn't happen yesterday, praise Jesus! She still has a small part of the tumor left, as it was expected since 95% was initially removed, but it didn't appear to grow and there were no new spots! We thank our Heavenly Father for what He has already done in Naomi's life and remain confident in His almighty power. And we continue to focus on today. That today is a gift. And one day, we will no longer experience cancer, and death, and pain, and doctor visits, because we will be rescued by God. I'm so thankful we are apart of His redemption plan.

We celebrated the good news with an afternoon trip to the zoo with all the kids and my brother and sister-in-law and their two children.

Now we are go on another three month break before the next scan. But I refuse to live our lives waiting for the when and if, but living rather for the great I Am. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw everything that hinders and the sin that so easy entangles. And let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

my season {of life} right now.

I was almost going to let March go on by without even saying hello on here. I was going to flip the calendar page and move on. Not because it has been a bad March. It's just been a tiring one. Between getting a new roof, getting a tree cut down, a septic pumped, carpets cleaned, car repairs, packing, moving, and of course, enjoy our unusually warm spring with trips to the beach, a waterfall, multiple parks, and the zoo, I sit down at night and have enough energy to just be. Oh, and there's my part-time job too aside from full-time growing a baby and parenting. [You guys, baby Lincoln will be here in no time. Eek!]

Creek exploring. 

 Getting ready to take a walk to our local Science Museum. 

 Outdoor painting. 

Trip to the zoo about two weeks ago (and me 31 weeks along). 

 One of my very favorite pictures of the girls. 

The hugging and kissing that takes place daily tugs at my heart strings.

 Waterfall exploring.

 Yeah, that happens. Hand holding at it's finest.

When everything is packed away for moving, you get out tubs for water play. 

And then you are the coolest mom ever. Just keeping it real. 

 Porch playing.

Beach going. It got up to 85 degrees last week. I still can't believe we were in swimsuits. I mean, they were in swimsuits. You won't find me in one. Ha!

Trip to the zoo today! 

It's a good tired, no doubt. But this is my season of life. I don't think the tiredness is going to change anytime soon. [Hello, newborn comes in t-6 weeks.]

I mentioned we moved, right? We officially sold our (second) home on Monday. It feels really good. Two years ago we bought this 1930's bungalow with plans to live in it and "flip-it" in two years--and we did just that! We packed almost everything away in storage and are now crashing at my dad's, in hopes that we will get the house we put an offer in (we should hear something sometime around the beginning of April). I'm thankful he has the space, but we are still really limited. And still adjusting. Poor sweet Audrey is having a difficult time with the change. Both physically and emotionally she has not been acting her normal self. I'm trying my best to be extra patient with her and show her grace.

I do hope to start blogging again. It's quite therapeutic for me. And as busy and tired as I am in this season of life, I want to remember the little moments.







**Thank you to those who mention you love reading this little space. It is encouraging!**

the weekend.

[Being that my DSLR is broken and I attempted to use a super-duper old camera in my last post and now those pictures make me cringe from the grainy-ness, I will be using my iphone for pictures for the time being. Crazy to think my phone takes better pictures than one of my cameras!]

We have had such crazy {wonderful} weather here. Like in the 50's for days. It is such a tease, because I know before March comes, a winter storm or two or three will be here. In the meantime, we are soaking in these beautiful days. On Friday afternoon, we took the girls to the zoo. And they didn't even have to wear big coats! In January! It was great fun and the animals were really active. Especially those tigers. Naomi was not intimidated at all by them. Audrey, on the other hand, took a step back pretty quickly when the tiger came up to the window.

For the next six weeks, we are the "parents" to my little sister, while my dad is away on a missions trip in Africa. And his first weekend away, happened to fall on her big 16th birthday. Usually, I like to think of myself still as young and somewhat stylish. But after spending the weekend with a bunch of 16 year old girls, I am suddenly feeling very old, and well, frumpy. Ha. I spent my weekend hauling around my sister and her youngin' friends out of town for a day of shopping and hosting a bonfire for them on Friday night.

And now, let me throw this randomness in here.  It is usually told that girls are more expensive, right? Well, this boy already has me eating like crazy. All.Time.Time. If this is any indication of his appetite, we are in trouble with food expenses! Now excuse me, the fridge is calling my name.

let's make a day of it.

What do you get when you mix a small Toyota Corolla, a 6'2'' tall husband, and two carseats? Not enough room. So yesterday we sold our little car in preparation for baby #2 to arrive (in just two months- eek!). The husband is too tall to drive with a carseat behind him. Yeah, he pretty much sits gangsta style, you know, seat as far back as possible. Now we are the search for a swagger wagon. [You should click on the link if you haven't watched that video yet- it is hilarious.]  And to stay with Dave's style (our man for financial wisdom), we are going older and cheaper.

We sold our car on cars.com (I highly recommend it- we did the cheapest ad of $15 and even found a coupon online so it cost only $11. Which totally beats a newspaper ad of $35 that only runs 3 days.) We had to drive up to Indianapolis to meet, so we made a day out of it and hit the zoo. What do you get when you have an overcast day, rain in the morning, and 73 degrees? A perfect day for the zoo. It was probably one of the least crowded days I have ever been to the zoo. And it was Saturday, we could hardly believe it.

I love seeing the animals myself, but what I love more is watching Audrey interact with her daddy.

I also love watching Audrey dance. "Mama, I hear moosic." She busted a move while we ate a footlong coney a healthy lunch.

I love those moments when life feels so right. The 'bottle of the moment' feeling. A zoo day with my little family was just that.

If Only I Could Change the Ending.

It wasn't our typical Wednesday. That's for sure.

In the evening we met some of Andrew's family up in Indianapolis to go to Christmas at the Zoo and then the Old Spaghetti Factory.

And so it began. We saw wonderful lights. A great dolphin show. Santa. Bears cuddling together. A seal LOVING the cold all spread out on a rock. Sting rays. Sea horses. And even touched sharks.

I really enjoyed wearing Audrey throughout the zoo. The really bonus, she kept me warm!

After a late evening at the Old Spaghetti Factory we headed home. Audrey was immediately asleep in the car. What should have been an easy hour drive, turned into two.

Because this happened.

Dear Hit and Run,

Thank you for spoiling what was a lovely night. Thank you for side swiping us and taking off, leaving us to deal with the problem. Did I mention you hit us with a little 14 month old in the car? I hope your happy. Be glad she stayed asleep the entire time. Thank you for the $500 we now have to pay for our deductible. It was just what we wanted for Christmas.

And that is how our night ended. We were fast asleep in our beds at 12:30am. Now if only I could change that ending.

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My.

We hit up the zoo yesterday for the fourth time this year. [You bet, I am getting my moneys-worth out of the zoo pass we bought]. My friend, April, over at Midwest Magpies, and I brought our girls. They were super sweet together.

It was a lovely time. We watched a gigantic walrus stand straight up and down in the water. We got to pet sharks and goats and try to avoid stepping on the little goat droppings everywhere that Audrey thought were neat little rocks she should pick up. And we watched baboons pick bugs off each other and eat them. Animals are just fascinating, aren't they?
The day was another great reminder of how blessed I am to be home with Audrey right now.

Anybody want a glass of lemonade?

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Right? What if life throws you a giant one that has been on steroids and is genetically enhanced. Because I had like 10 of those thrown at me last week.

Here. Let me get straight to the point.

My husband lost his job. It was official on Friday.

And my job. Well, I get paid in coos, and smiles, and the pulling of my hair, and the changing of diapers, but not cash. Zero cash.

Oh, and we are still trying to sell our house. And buy another one. In the midst of this no job thing. Sounds brilliant, right? Ha.

I cried. Boy, have I cried. I told my husband something like this "Well, I guess we are going to eat Ramen Noodles for the rest of our life. Have you looked for a job today? Have you? I can't believe this. At least Audrey will not go hungry. She has the boob if nothing else."

[I know. I know. Not the most supportive wife. But I am trying. I really am.]

[Oh, and I totally went out and bought lots of Ramen Noodles the next day. I was not joking about that part.]

This all happened last week. This week is much better. Not better in the sense that my husband found his dream job. BUT he does have one. Thank goodness. His awesome brother has hired him until he finds something else. OR until he starts his own business. Uh huh, that's what he wants to do. I am kind of excited about this part. I know the hubster can do it. He is the hardest working guy. Ever. And extremely talented.

So, here's to making one GIGANTIC GLASS of lemonade.

We celebrated with a trip to the zoo yesterday. Actually we were forced out of our home for 4 hours while we had an open house. So we went to the zoo with our zoo pass. We spent zero dollars and even got to pet sharks.

The Good. The Bad. And the Ugly.

Let me just start with the ugly. Remember this. The horrible idea of me in a swimsuit. I went shopping for one on Friday. Failed. And felt even worst. Like I should never be in a swimsuit again. Or at least one that fits snug and is made of polyester. [Oh, wait that is ALL of them]. BUT, I found the good on Saturday. I ended with a tankini from Old Navy. AND it was on sale. Double bonus. And the triple bonus? I also found a rug from Home Goods (practically a TJ Maxx). Remember this too. Well, now I have a beautiful, wool rug caressing my feet right now. It was love at first sight. It was also my anniversary gift.

The good continued today. Hubby, baby, and I went to the Indianapolis Zoo. We have a membership so we will be going, um, all-the-time. It was beautiful weather, not too hot yet (we went in the morning), and not too crowded. Then after the Zoo we headed to Riley Hospital for Audrey's heart check up. [Background info: Audrey had a heart procedure done when she was 5 days old to have her pulmonary valve opened, it was too closed and not allowing enough blood flow]. Everything looks great! Doc told us on a scale of 1 to 6, 1 being the best, Audrey is a 1! Holla! We were on our merry way from Riley.

Here is where the bad comes in. Notice I have no pictures to show you of the Zoo? Or at the hospital? No, I didn't forget my camera. It practically comes with me everywhere like it is my second wedding ring or something. I even got some great shots today. I used my aquarium setting for the first time-loved it. [Then where are the pictures you took?] On the way home I was fiddling with my camera. Next thing I know I have formatted it and OHMYGOSH ALLMYPICTURESAREGONE. I am hoping my husband's magical powers will bring them back some how. He is a smarty-pants when it comes to technology thank goodness. So, say a little prayer the pictures come back tomorrow.

At least I have my huggable, kissable, squishable, 19lbs 2oz. baby to adore each and every second. [Insert picture of chubby leg baby here]. And a hubby that takes care of me.

17.5 lbs of Pure Squeezable Love.

That's what I carried around the Indianapolis Zoo today for four hours. In my sling. The entire time. And it was the sweetest thing ever. Even if I was sweating like a mad woman in what was suppose to be 71 degrees and ended up like 80 (I am NOT complaining, bring on the warmth). And I pushed an empty stroller around the whole time too (thankfully I had help with this one here and there). [I. love. her. chubby. legs.]

Going to the zoo also kind of felt like a mini-celebration for Audrey turning 6 months today. I mean, going from this...

To this... (heart procedure done at the ripe age of 5 days old)

To this in six months...

is quite amazing if I do say so myself.

Edited to Add: At the zoo I ate a second day old, sitting in the sun for at least 3 hours, sub while watching the seals and holding sleeping Audrey in the sling. And at that time I thought that sub was amazing. Funny how everything is so relative to the moment.