rejoice in suffering.

I've been staring at the blinking cursor for weeks now as I want to type a new post. But I just can't. I read the words that flowed so easily from my fingertips when we went through all of it. And in some ways, I'm afraid to type again. I'm afraid that if I type a new post, it will somehow push those weeks of bringing me to my scariest, yet most joyful time in my life to just a faint happening, something that happened in the past, tucked away like a love letter in your top drawer.

And I don't want that. I want to remember what it felt like to be there. To be where God brought me to my knees. Crying out for Him. The only One that saves and gives hope and a peace that surpasses all understanding. The only One.

Today I was reading in 1 Peter 4 about rejoicing in suffering.  See, Peter walked the walked, he was persecuted for his beliefs, yet he chose to still bring glory to God. And I was reminded how thankful I am to be able to celebrate suffering. Which pretty much seems like an oxymoron. Yet, through the power of the Holy Spirit is it possible. It's not the same celebration of a wedding or a birthday party. But celebrating in that suffering produces perseverance and a deeper faith. And that we can actually cry tears of joy when glory is brought to Him through it. Sometimes those tears of joy come sooner than later, or later than we wanted. But joy can always come in the morning, if we say yes to it.

So I've decided to continue to write blog posts, leaving my fears behind, instead of the story. The story that I will continue to share because it brings God glory. This story is just a small sliver of God's redemption plan and grace. I want God to continue to write my life story. I want Him to lead me, even in places I feel uncomfortable, so that I may find Him.

Just a little over one month post removal of tumor and girlfriend is doing fabulous.