finding beauty amongst the chaos.

Today we tried to make it feel as normal as possible, but we started the day with Andrew making mickey mouse pancakes, and well, if you know Andrew and his cooking skills, there is really nothing normal about that. Ha!

We spent most of the morning just in awe of the abundance of love we are receiving, one thing after another from a kitchen full of groceries to custom made super hero capes from Pip and Bean.

We snuggled on the couch a lot, played kitchen and pretended to plant a garden that included a doughnut and ice cream. I watched the girls run around the house chasing each other and yelling "Best day ever!" quoting Rapunzel, of course. I found beauty there.

The girls took a bath together and pretty much laid on top of each other hugging and giggling. In that moment there was beauty.

Andrew and I snuck away for a 30 minute couples massage. Not even kidding. When we woke in the morning super super sore,  we looked at each other and pretty much knew we needed to schedule that, which is something we have never done together. Our relationship has to be a priority even though it's hard to do and the alone moments will be far and few in between for a while.

I have to focus on these beautiful moments, because, honestly the day was hard, even being in the comfort of our home, which I am so so grateful that we could come home for a few days. We are living in an unknown chaos. A new territory. And it's scary. I have to constantly bring myself back to The Cross. Jesus has already suffered for us, He knows our hearts. Heaven is breaking for us, I know that. Glory will come from this. That I am sure. I believe.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 
Matthew 28:11

We push on through the hardships of the day. Lincoln is teething terribly right now. He is having an incredibly hard time going to sleep for nap and night, and typically he is very easy. He has fussed all day. And his RAD (Respiratory Airway Disease) is flaring up again. Naomi is having a difficult time adjusting to total attention at the hospital to being home and having to be told "no" and be disciplined for misbehavior. It's not easy to discipline your child that you know is suffering with cancer.

But the children are all sleeping now and I'm spending some time looking through old pictures and videos. We have such beautiful moments weaved amongst the challenges. The challenges make us stronger and the beauty carries us through.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Today was another gift.

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