he moved mountains.

I was living in my perfect little bubble. We were living the American dream the best we could. I constantly worried. I mean constantly. Are my children eating healthy enough? Are they well-rounded? What do others perceive of me? Do I exercise enough? We need to travel more. We need our kitchen remodeled. We have deadlines and books to return to the library. And appointments and laundry to fold and oh my gosh another dishwasher to unload. I just want a full nights sleep. Did we sing the abc's today? Are my children learning what they need to know? And now our lawn mower is broken. When will it ever end?

Then by the words of "you better sit down for this." I was brought instantly to my knees. None of that other stuff mattered anymore. This material world will not fill me or redeem me or make me whole or save me from eternal damnation. Or save my daughter who was suddenly deemed as a childhood cancer patient.

I became face to face with Jesus like I have never been before exactly one week ago.

I was convicted in these last seven days. My pride and need for control were crushed. And I'm so thankful for that. I had no other choice but to give my most precious, prized possessions over to God and say my babies are yours, I trust you with them.

And when I was able to do that. To give them over. God filled me with a supernatural peace. I'm usually a crier and very sensitive, but I have cried more tears of joy then of sadness by far. This stay at Riley Hospital has been enjoyable. He has given me so many opportunity to bask in His glory here and worship Him. He protected my heart from looking further down the road to what life could be like. He protected me from anxiously waiting for test results today. Instead I rested in Him. He has taught me to live for today. For tomorrow may never come. It's hard to describe this state that I am at, that God has drawn me so closely to Him. He couldn't make himself more real to me.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

His grace is sufficient. He stripped me from everything comfortable, everything I had ever wanted so I could find Him, truly find Him. And in the midst of it, choose joy. Joy is not bound by our circumstances, it is anchored by hope.

But he said to me "His grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I believed that Jesus would heal Naomi. I didn't know when, but I trusted and had hope that no matter where this journey took us, God would guide us. Andrew and I didn't even have to feel our burden to the depth of despair. God sent every single person we knew to us and said let me help you. You are not alone. We have been incredibly blessed beyond measure. I love reflecting on the week and seeing how God sent one person after another after another to love on us. Thank you, thank you for loving us. 

I'm so thankful that God turned us in this direction. He used me, so gloriously broken and ruined to spread the aroma of the knowledge of Him. (2 Corinthians 2:14)

We aren't in the 100% clear. Naomi is still healing from surgery. We rejoice in today that she ate so well, went way above her goal of walking at least three times, and generally was her normal {feisty} self. We painted, played Candyland with a friend we met on the floor, did play-doh, made a card for Audrey, and rolled around in the red wagon like a boss. We Facetimed brother and sister and pretty much melted when Audrey asked for Naomi to go towards the screen so they could kiss. Tomorrow we look at removing her nerve block, and see how her pain control does then. She will have more tests run and check ups for probably forever. But Christ's miracle cannot be denied. The cancerous tumor, that ended up being mostly benign was removed 95% and the initial test results of the bone marrow check came back clear. The 5% left in her body will not harm her, and most likely will not grow. God uses his people to bring Him glory. He gave the doctors and nurses and entire team such talent and has allowed modern medicine to heal sickness. We are incredibly thankful for the people that worked with Naomi and us. The staff that work in a children's hospital are truly inspirational for what they do every single day.

The thing is, nothing is 100% certain in this world, except the assurance that Jesus Christ will come again. We aren't protected from experiencing more turmoil in days ahead. Outcomes don't always end up the way we want {seven years ago I lost my mom to Breast Cancer, I know chemo and radiation and loss.} Sin entered the world in The Garden, we became blind. Yet, God promises that He will come again and everything will be Redeemed. There will be New Life.

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven and things in earth, and things under earth; and that every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  Philippians  2:10-11