All day today I kept trying to feel the 'woe is me' feeling. Like I should be feeling extremely sad and worried. But it was not happening. I smiled a lot. And relished in my children being able to go to the zoo and then to the beach to get family pictures. I cannot describe this overwhelming peace and comfort we are feeling, but it is so evident. God's presence is beaming. Even through Lincoln's extreme fussiness and Audrey having to go to the doctor today for an ear infection (which she has never had) and chest cold. The words that keep coming from my mouth are "I can't even" and "I don't know" because it is true, this is so indescribable to be in this exact spot. With confidence I can say that good will come from this. God's love is so immeasurable and this is example of it. I can't try to box it up because it just keeps going.
I have had messages, texts, phone calls, comments, etc. telling me how strong and wonderful my faith is. (Thank you for such sweet words that encourage me!) But you guys, I can't take the glory for even this strength. I want to worry and stress and be my Type A personality, but God won't let me. This is not a tragedy. Naomi will be healed and mountains will be moved.
Today has been full of so much beauty. From the zoo to a photographer graciously coming to take pictures of our family at one of our favorite spots- the beach. Like, I've been smiling a lot and relishing in Naomi constantly taking her boot off because sand gets filled in it. And oh you know, petting a rhino at the zoo. Or Naomi and Audrey singing silly songs in the back of the car as we wait for Audrey's prescription to get filled. Being able to wear Lincoln at the zoo and he fell asleep on me, knowing these moments will be far and few in between for a while.
It's nearing midnight and we still have to pack our hospital bags for a stay we aren't really sure of how long or what to expect. But our hope rests in the Lord.
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone Lord, make me dwell in safety.
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Jesus is real and present right now. He gave us these three days at home to be showered and I mean showered in love, to build up our walls of protection and prepare to fight a battle. We are armored and ready. If God is for us, who can be against us? (These words are constantly on my heart).